Do you know why I write fanfiction?
I started writing fanfiction because I couldn't write original fiction no matter how much I tried. I just didn't have that something that would push me through the insecurity of not knowing HOW.
Fanfiction gave me wings. But it's also my prison. I've written original words, too. 70 000 of them to be precise. Two different stories, though. But yeah, I do write original words too. But I don't feel them the same way I feel fanfiction, the characters that are already fascinating to me on their own.
I've been writing a lot of AU lately, and that's original fiction. I could change the names of the characters, and write these stories without ever publishing them here. Why don't I?
Because the world is full of people who don't give a fuck about others and what they create, who only want to rip you to pieces because you're not good enough, not up to their standard.
That's one of the reasons.
The other is... That would mean I would have to take it seriously, and me taking things seriously makes me lose the desire to play. The words "serious" and "muse" hate each other. My muse is a fickle little creature, and she sure as hell doesn't want anything serious or high art or something that makes people go all whoa, this is the best thing I've ever read. She wants to write things that make her laugh and cry and want. That's all.
So I have a problem. How to become a writer of original fiction without taking it seriously?
I found my playful child at work. I'm still an office worker. My work is the same as it was before. And I enjoy it so freaking much. I love my work because it's like an adventure to me. I love all the problems I need to figure out.
So if I can make that boring job something interesting to myself how do I make writing original fiction something fun and not serious?